Retrojunkie's is a business specializing in second-hand, salvaged, and surplus items. It's a small business, consisting of just me (Matt Roberts), working out of my home in Montpelier, Vermont.
Retro. If it's twenty-five years old or older, it's retro. That doesn't mean you're retro if you were born in 1983, but the events, souvenirs, and ephemera thereof are. You can find more precise definitions of retro at Dictionary.com
Vintage. Fifty years old or older. This differs from retro in that if you were born in 1958, you are vintage. I mean, let's face it: you're half a century old. So stop pretending to be young, eat your prunes, and start practicing yelling at kids who trespass on your lawn. The neighbor's dogs will suffice for this purpose. Yelling at your own dog will result in canine confusion and possible medication increases (for you). Neither of which are necessarily bad things, as long as you're forewarned.
Antique. The Federal government, bless their rhetoric-bleating little hearts, have already decided this one for us. If it's a hundred years old or older, it's antique. And if you're a hundred years old or older, you can stop eating the prunes now. Have a beer instead. What's it going to do, stunt your growth?
Me. I'm forty-eight. And I hate prunes. Thanks for asking.
In addition to the store, you'll find some ASCII Art pages. I think it's pretty spiffy, though I lack the talent to do it myself. Fortunately for me, there are lots of talented artists. So I've been collecting it and organizing it into categories. Just for fun, I thought I'd share some of it with you.
Because I've made a little money selling books, I've collected a bit of information here and there. I've stuck some of that in a Book Collecting section.
The Screensaver Universe is the repository of the screensavers I make for my own use. They're also available for purchase in the store, on DVD.
And because I'm a silly guy, I've added a Jokes section.
The Celebrity Universe is what I call my collection of images of famous and semi-famous people, mostly women, preferably in bikinis and lingerie.
For those of you who want to see what's been updated on the site, and possibly catch a glimpse of my skewed perception of the known universe, I offer the Extremely Local News.
There's a section for videos, where I'll stash various motion pictures of things I think you might want to see.
A links page is where you might be able to find things I don't currently offer.
What do you want to see? I'm currently putting stuff up based on what I have in my various collections, but that doesn't necessarily get your favorites up any faster. So, it's up to you to let me know what you want. If there's something you're looking for, please let me know. When making requests, please bear in mind that this is a retro site.
So, here are the categories I have worked up so far:
ASCII Art
Book Collecting
The Celebrity Universe (Pictures)
Jokes
Links
The Movie House (Videos)
The Extremely Local News
The Screen Saver Universe
The Store
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Site begun 1-10-03
