So What is Retro?

Retrojunkie's is a business specializing in second-hand, salvaged, and surplus items. It's a small business, consisting of just me (Matt Roberts), working out of my home in Barre, Vermont.


Well, the term retro just means having to do with the past. The beginning of this sentence could be retro by the time you reach this point in your reading. And it's not surprising that different people have a different view of what's retro and what isn't. So, I've decided on an arbitrary definition for the purposes of this site. You are encouraged to develop your own definition, in order to introduce as much confusion as possible into the known universe. Here are the definitions of retro, vintage, and antique as I see them:

Retro. If it's twenty-five years old or older, it's retro. That doesn't mean you're retro if you were born in 1989, but the events, souvenirs, and ephemera thereof are. You can find more precise definitions of retro at

Vintage. Fifty years old or older. This differs from retro in that if you were born in 1964, you are vintage. I mean, let's face it: you're half a century old. So stop pretending to be young, eat your prunes, and start practicing yelling at kids who trespass on your lawn. The neighbor's dogs will suffice for this purpose. Yelling at your own dog will result in canine confusion and possible medication increases (for you). Neither of which are necessarily bad things, as long as you're forewarned.

Antique. The Federal government, bless their rhetoric-bleating little hearts, have already decided this one for us. If it's a hundred years old or older, it's antique. And if you're a hundred years old or older, you can stop eating the prunes now. Have a beer instead. What's it going to do, stunt your growth?
Me. I'm fifty-four. And I hate prunes. Thanks for asking.


A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"
The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had.""
The bartender says, "What do you have?""
The guy says, "75 cents."

Retrojunkie's Old Recipes

Aunt Abbie's Cake

1/2 cup butter 3/4 cup sour milk
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon soda
1 cup raisins and currants
1 teaspoon each nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves
2 scant cups flour

A favourite GIF for the Month - Farnsworth