While waiting to pay, he remembers that he locked his car doors but left the accordion in plain view on the back seat of his car!
He rushes out only to realize that he is too late.
The back window of his car is smashed and somebody has already thrown in two more accordions.
-----
Due to a mix-up on Grammy night, Madonna, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera are forced to share a private jet in order to arrive in time for the ceremony. Once up in the air, Madonna pulls out a $1000 bill and says, "I'm going to throw this $1000 bill out the window and make someone down below very happy."
Not to be outdone, Britney rips a $1000 bill in half and throws it out the window, saying, "Look, I just made two people really happy."
Not even noticing Britney's stupid move, Christina brags, "Look, I'm going to throw 1000 $1 bills and make a lot more people a little happier."
At this point the pilot, who has overheard all this bragging and can't stand it anymore, comes out and says, "I think I'll throw all three of you out of this plane and make 250 million people happy."
-----
A mystery-lover takes his place in the theater for opening night, but his seat is way back in the theater, far from the stage. The man calls an usher over and whispers, "I just love a good mystery, and I have been anxiously anticipating the opening of this play. However, in order to carefully follow the clues and fully enjoy the play, I have to watch a mystery close up. Look how far away I am! If you can get me a better seat, I'll give you a handsome tip."
The usher nods and says he will be back shortly. Looking forward to a large tip, the usher speaks with his co-workers in the box office, hoping to find some closer tickets. With just three minutes left until curtain, he finds an unused ticket at the Will Call window and snatches it up. Returning to the man in the back of the theater, he whispers, "Follow me." The usher leads the man down to the second row, and proudly points out the empty seat right in the middle. "Thanks so much," says the theatergoer, "This seat is perfect." He then hands the usher a quarter.
The usher looks down at the quarter, leans over and whispers, "The butler did it in the parlor with the candlestick."
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